You might be a spammer if…

… the best thing you have to say about your email practices is “They’re CAN SPAM compliant.”
… text to .gif is a vital part of your email generation process
… you have to mail from multiple ESPs in order to get good delivery
Please contribute your own in the comments.
I’d also like to thank Al for guest posting 2 days this week. Thanks, Al!


  1. Trout says

    …if you obfuscate your identity in your WHOIS records.

  2. John Caldwell says

    … if you buy lists.

  3. Jon says

    If your “opt-in list” is a bunch of addresses submitted to your (or worse, someone else’s) web site, but you’ve done nothing to confirm that the addresses were actually submitted by their owners.

  4. Vincent Hanna says

    … if you need your IP addresses spread over multiple /24s for increased deliverability.

  5. Kelly says

    More people unsubscribe than open your email.
    “Opt-in” is defined as opening one of three emails sent in the same week.
    You are too cheap to buy lists so you copy email addresses from trade/industry websites.
    You sell Customer’s information to other companies based on the premise that “you can determine” what other products your Customer might like.
    … these things are so happening. And it’s not the shady spammer guy you imagine sitting in a dark office somewhere. It’s giant national corporations.

  6. Chris Wheeler says

    …if the _only_ way you can get a significant number of emails delivered is by signing up for paid 3rd party accreditation services.

  7. Evan Burke says

    …if the third-party accreditation services won’t even return your phone calls

  8. Trout says

    …if you (futilely) have ISP deliverability reps on speed dial and send them boxes of meat.

  9. Jon says

    …your primary means of advertising is compromising or hacking other people’s web sites to add your content to them.

  10. jimpop says

    …if you are known for saying the same thing over and over on spam related mailinglists.

  11. Trout says

    ….you spend a lot of time and money trying to figure out how to game ISP spam filtering systems

  12. Andrew says

    …if you send irrelevant mail, even to those who opted in.
    …if you over-send, even to those who opted in.

  13. John Alessi says

    25% of your list is to and domains.

  14. laura says

    … You have ever started a conversation with an abuse desk or delivery consultant with “Let me tell you about my business model.”

  15. John Alessi says

    Your call to action includes the word “erection”
    You have 20,000,000 addresses on your list and a $20 budget

  16. jmac says

    if you have a dedicated IP for your “welcome” messages

  17. Cap says

    your from name is person’s name, who doesn’t exist

  18. Marc says

    ….You are happy with below 10% as an open rate
    …..You only ask what the CPM is not what the functionality is
    …….you buys, mail then resell the same data
    ……..You are Vista Print
    Laura’s comment also rings true…

  19. Cap says

    if you are on a recruitment drive to hire people to build relationships and rapport with ISPs to get better deliverability.

  20. J.D. says

    …you spend more time re-tweeting other marketers’ re-tweets than you do following the best practices in the original articles


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