Spam works

I got a spam today advertising spamming services that ended with a tagline that can be paraphrased: We managed to spam you, let us spam others on your behalf!
OK, so what they actually said was:

We have proven that we can get our message through to you….Let us help get your message in front of your ideal audience.

The thing is, I’m not an ideal audience for his message. Really. Sending me spam to an address I’ve never actually used as an email address advertising your magic filter busting technique isn’t going to inspire me to use your service.
Plus, this guy is violating CAN SPAM all over the place.

  • Headers are forged.
  • There’s no physical postal address.
  • There’s no unsub link.
  • It’s coming from NoReply@.

There is a part of me that understands people respond to this kind of thing. Some desperate small business owner is going to get this email, think it’s actually targeted at him and call the number. He’s not necessarily going to realize this “targeted” email is totally un-targeted.
This small business person is also going to rely on the spammer for guidance on how to do things. And if the spammer does for the small business person what he did for himself, the small business person is going to be violating federal law. Of course, business people should understand what they’re doing and they shouldn’t buy from spam. But that seems to be expecting to much of people.

No one in this world, so far as I know – and I have searched the records for years, and employed agents to help me – has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. H.L. Mencken. “Notes On Journalism” 9/19/1926

In fact, if no one ever bought from spam, then there wouldn’t be quite the spam problem there is today. Ten or so years ago I would confidently assert people didn’t buy from spam. Then the state of Arizona nailed C.P. Direct for selling fraudulent penis enlargement pills and confiscated between $30 and $60 million dollars worth of cash and property. That was the point where I realized people really were stupid or desperate enough to buy from spam.
This is why so many companies turned to filters as a solution. They realized that stopping people from buying from spam was a total non-starter. Spam works, no matter how many of us wish it didn’t. ISPs can only stop it from being delivered, not stop it from being sent.

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Did anyone actually look at this email before sending?

I received spam advertising AARP recently. Yes, AARP. Oh, of course they didn’t send me spam, they hired someone who probably hired someone who contracted with an affiliate marketer to send mail.
The affiliates, while capable of bypassing spam filters, are incapable of actually sending readable mail.

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The dark side of email marketing

Everyone I talk to when dealing with issues inevitably has to tell me they are legitimate email marketers. They’re not spammers, they’re just business people. I often find it difficult to fathom why they need to tell me this. It’s not like email marketers are criminals or anything.
Two recent stories reminded me how evil some folks are. While I’ve not had any direct contact (that I know of) with any of the players on this end of things I have zero doubt that if they called me they would tell me that they were legitimate email marketers.
In one case, a members of a spam gang kidnapped the teenage daughter of someone investigating their activities. The gang held her for more than 5 years in horrific conditions. Yesterday Joseph Menn, author of “Fatal System Error” posted on Boing Boing that his friend got his daughter back. It is a heartbreaking story and incredibly sobering.
In another case, the Russian police arrested a man who ran spammit.com, a clearinghouse for viagra sellers to find spammers to send their mail. Reports say that mail volumes dropped by a fifth after the site was taken offline.
There is real evil in the email marketing industry. Sure, they’re spammers and we can all stand up and say they’re not legitimate. But, this is what the ISPs and Spamhaus and law enforcement are dealing with on a regular basis.

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Spam isn't a best practice

I’m hearing a lot of claims about best practices recently and I’m wondering what people really mean by the term. All too often people tell me that they comply with “all best practices” followed by a list of things they do that are clearly not best practices.
Some of those folks are clients or sales prospects but some of them are actually industry colleagues that have customers sending spam. In either case, I’ve been thinking a lot about best practices and what we all mean when we talk about best practices. In conversing with various people it’s clear that the term doesn’t mean what the speakers think it means.
For me, best practice means sending mail in a way that create happy and engaged recipients. There are a lot of details wrapped up in there, but all implementation choices stem from the answer to the question “what will make our customers happy.” But a lot of marketers, email and otherwise, don’t focus on what makes their recipients or targets happy.
In fact, for many people I talk to when they say “best practice” what they really mean is “send as much mail as recipients will tolerate.” This isn’t that surprising, the advertising and marketing industries survive by pushing things as far as the target will tolerate (emphasis added).

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